BRAVERY 52 | List 26
LIST 26 | List the loftiest goals you can think of – the dreams that feel like they have no chance of coming true.
Hmm. It’s been a while since I’ve thought about what it is I really want in my life – what are my unattainable goals? I’ve not really ever thought in those terms – I can have whatever I set my mind to attain.
I no longer live a transactional existence – if I do this … I’ll get that. If I’m in a relationship, I’ll be happy. If I’m published, I’ll be happy. If I travel, I’ll be happy. The reward itself is in the work, the journey, the process. I am always working hard, though not often knowing what it is I’m working toward. I simply feel driven to continue with no specific goal in mind.
My only real goal is to show up as an outstanding version of myself every day and allow my days to teach me what I need to know.
Okay, so where does that leave me?
Start. Outline, write and publish the stories – big novels and smaller short stories and even smaller articles – while enjoying, truly having fun through all of the steps required.
Submit. The Modern Love article and be okay if it’s not published – but it is such a great story, how can it not? It would be spectacular to be published in the New York Times! Truly a dream come true. (I pushed the send button last Saturday – fingers crossed!)
Create. A safe and welcoming environment for a circle of women, following the Wheel of the Year and cycles of the moon. A place for elevated conversations, genuine love and authentic support.
Water. For years, I’ve been writing letters and having conversations with politicians about how to get water to our indigenous people – how to go about making Nestlé actually PAY for rather than steal this resource (though they’ve recently “sold” rights they didn’t have in the first place – I have to figure it all out, again). I want Nestlé to subsidize ALL of the costs.
Heal. All of the news regarding the residential school system is so heart-wrenching. I get physically winded when I think about it, and I think about it often. I’m trying to come up with a way to make a significant and positive non-performative contribution to healing and reconciliation. I believe that we can do better than our history.
Travel. Put together a master list of exactly those places I want to go. Then plan it. Then pack. And go. There is absolutely nothing keeping me from travelling the world.
Find. A Mr. Fun For Now, someone who appreciates my humour, my hobbies and my habits and is smart enough to enjoy life with me with zero expectation of anything more. (No disrespect to Bill who I miss terribly – after all, he’s the one who cracked me wide open and made me promise not to shut down again. He showed me that I could be seen, heard, valued, loved and supported.) Then eventually find a Mr. Fun Forever, however long that’ll be, (god knows I know first-hand that there’s an expiration date on “forever”) who wants to live a full and fun life with me. A partner who loves me the way I want, deserve and know how to be loved. It’s a tough ask. It’ll be fun to see who steps up to the challenge!
Those are some impossible dreams right there.