BESTSELF™ ICEBREAKER | Self-Awareness 10
WHAT HAVE YOU LEARNED ABOUT LIFE FROM LOSS OR DEATH?
I’d have to say that ALL I know about life I’ve learned from loss or death.
I arrived on this plane of existence with a finely-honed sense of right and wrong and knew instinctively, from the time I was a small child, when the adults in the room are not behaving towards the better angels of their nature. I was surrounded by insecure, ambitious, liars and hypocrites - often of the bible-thumping variety, but not always. Through all of it I never lost sight of the instinctive knowing that life didn’t have to be that way. You don’t have to lie, cheat, steal, gaslight, belittle, begrudge or humiliate anyone to feel good about yourself. It was a loss I felt acutely but didn’t understand until I was much older and certainly never processed to any success until my late 40s and 50s.
Most of the death of those close to me, until recently, were of elderly family members who lived well into their 90s so, though they are missed, the grief was not paralyzing. It was always tempered with the knowledge that their passing was after a good long life lived.
When I lost Bill in early August 2020, it was devastating. I couldn’t catch my breath for months. The greatest lesson I experienced from his death is learning that love transcends everything and it is an energy that will last to eternity. To love and be loved like that is beautiful and breathtaking. All-in is the only way to do love right.
Loss and death has taught me to trust myself, stay open, and love with my whole heart - keep nothing back. I wake up every day with an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for everything in my life - the ease and the challenges. I say “yes” to every opportunity offered to me. I show up with empathy, kindness and compassion. I feel all of the feels and shrug off the agendas and cruelty of others - they don’t define who I am, how I show up, or my worthiness. I surround myself with those who lift me up and avoid those who have heavy, negative energy. I have no time for the blamers and the shamers; the judges and the critics - I won’t hustle for their acceptance, they aren’t my people.