BESTSELF™ ICEBREAKER | Life Lessons 11
WHAT CHOICE HAD THE GREATEST IMPACT ON YOUR LIFE?
At 57 years of age that gives me a lot to consider as there are so many choices made for so many reasons.
There was a time, in my younger days, when I lived out loud a great big life which had me pinging and binging like a pinball in a machine. It was totally self-destructive. I am lucky to have survived.
Then one day I woke up and looked around and realized that I was living in a place (Buffalo, NY) that offered me nothing, it was time to get out. My boss, The Troll, had denied me a promotion that had been approved - the higher-ups had already called to congratulate me. He was threatened that I was on track to be VP before his being “the youngest in the history of the company”. In the almost decade I lived there, I had not met one man who was faithful to his wife, that said, I didn’t know many women who were faithful, either. The prospect of me living the life I wanted for myself was evidently impossible.
I took the lessons and accepted an expedient transfer within the company and moved to Calgary, Alberta.
That decision changed the trajectory of my life.
Within a couple of years of working 70+ hour weeks “proving myself” to a man commonly referred to as the Tasmanian Devil (they weren’t wrong), I bought my first house, a sweet little blue 2-bedroom bungalow in the North West; I met my (now ex-) husband at work because where else do you meet someone when you work crazy long hours.; we married at the Banff Springs Hotel in the Manor Lobby in front of 50 people, which was magical; we had baby number one, a lovely bright blonde girl, and thirteen months later had baby number two, a dark brooding yet sweet boy.
Moving to Calgary forced me to grow up. There were plenty of growing pains and challenging circumstances I wouldn’t trade for anything. That choice started me on my journey to who I am today, and that version is FABULOUS. (Yes, said in a loud and enthusiastic Oprah voice, with hands raised in the air, waving madly!)
(Highlight reel of turning-point choices through my life include: willingly going to boarding school as “punishment” for being a teenager; going to Mt. A. for English though I wanted to go to Ryerson for Journalism; moving to Buffalo as a result of being on the receiving end of a physical beating; moving to Oakville for his transfer though I was making substantially more money; experiencing competitive volunteer altruism (it’s a thing); adding two more babies to our crew; moving to the house with a pool only to have our youngest drown and almost die before it was officially opened our first summer; opening a baseball training facility and allowing him to run it into the ground; taking the Executive Medical program at Canyon Ranch Tucson and having it put me on the road to safety and sanity; filing for divorce once all (well, most) of the lies were revealed; singlehandedly raising four teenagers and setting them up for successful futures; after 37 years of longing, making a life with Bill with a bright future only to lose him within 299 days; picking up, packing up and one final move (I hope) to Southampton and a new next chapter. I’ve not written these stories so this is simply a place-holder for future pondering.)