BRAVERY 52 | List 40

LIST 40 | List the leaps you have taken in your life where you faced and overcame fear.

I suppose I experienced fear from a place of uncertainty when:

Leaving for boarding school, then left for University - neither my choice;

Betrayed by the school, leaving University never to return;

Moving to Buffalo, NY, to work for a subsidiary of Loblaw, where my dad ran the show;

Transferring to Calgary, AB, (a total culture change after 8 years in the US) to work for an egomaniacal tyrant;

Agreeing to marry a man who everyone (and I mean, everyone) warned me not to marry;

Moving to Ontario to live in a suburb where I simply did not fit in - it/they triggered every negative and insecure part of me;

Getting the call that Caden had been found in the pool and was being taken by ambulance to the hospital and the weeks that followed;

Opening and then closing Frozen Ropes (baseball training facility) within three years with no explanation or accountability;

Divorce left me fully physically and financially responsible for my four kids - then 16, 15, 13 and 12;

Moving from the big house on the water to the small townhouse to the big house on the cemetery;

Bill accepting my invitation to join me in Whistler, Vancouver, and then finally, Oakville;

Accepting Bill’s marriage proposal even though he was desperately ill, then coping with his death - the emotion and logistics;

Packing up everything I own and leaving everything I know to move to a place completely new to me;

Diagnosis of non-Hodgkin Lymphoma for Caden, moving to Toronto for his treatment at the Princess Margaret, a long 7 months in the tin can, having to deal with another trauma.

Next? I’m almost afraid to know, but given the human condition, there will most certainly be a next.

Those are the biggest of the fears. There are certainly more than a few dozen more I could add, but don’t want this to be the most depressing post of my life! There was a lot of stress that lasted for sustained periods. There were also plenty of highlights. I’ve experienced no more or less fear and stress than anyone else, I’m sure. This is just my story.