BESTSELF™ ICEBREAKER | Self-Awareness 14

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE FROM A PLACE OF INSECURITY THAT HAS HAD LONG-LASTING EFFECTS? 

I conformed.

Regularly.

I was not secure enough in myself, at 17, to tell the adults in my life that I wouldn’t do, say, or be, what they told me to do, say, or be. I wish that I had stood up for myself and lived a life that was more organic, authentic to who I am.

What would that have looked like?

After high school, I’d have spent at least a year in South Africa on a mission trip. After some life experience, I’d have deferred my acceptance and gone to Ryerson (now Toronto Metropolitan University) for Journalism. I’d have applied to work for Vanity Fair. That was the plan.

It was not suitable.

Instead, without even applying, I went to University for a degree in English (which was considered far more acceptable than a “working degree”), I left after two years and a violent incident which was a direct result of my insecurity. I ended up working in the longest management training program in the history of the grocery industry. I got married, had a couple of kids, moved, had a couple of more kids, became a stay-at-home mum, volunteered, ran a couple of businesses, divorced, yada, yada, yada …

Somehow I managed to keep a kernel of rebellious spirit deep in my soul, which has proven helpful during certain situations throughout my life.

Would things be different if I had followed my plan? Likely. Certainly, having those adults in my life show me that they had faith in my making my own decisions for my future would have done wonders for my confidence!

Would I have married? Certainly not to who I married. Had four children? Who’s to know, though I know those four souls would have been an integral part of my life. Would I be living my best life in Southampton? Again, not something I could know. All I know for sure is that I made the best of any situation I encountered at every opportunity.