HOLSTEE | Compassion
The April focus is Compassion and it has me heartbroken given the current condition of our world, specifically the continuation of the pandemic (yes, we are still in a pandemic people!) and the Putin war on Ukraine.
This month the workbook was more extensive and complicated than most, probably because the subject of compassion is a complex one. We are not raised to be compassionate, we are raised to be productive and proactive. We have to learn to be compassionate, to unlearn what we have been taught and embrace what we inherently know to be true. I appreciated and practiced all of the exercises and believe I’m well on my way to a more compassionate future.
“We are each made for goodness, love and compassion.
Our lives are transformed as much as the world is when we live with these truths.”
ICEBREAKERS
Describe a time when a stranger went out of their way to do something kind for you.
After my beautiful Bill passed away, I received a lovely text from a woman I know through friends who had lost her husband a few years before. Her note offered such kindness and compassion. I wasn’t in a place to respond adequately so I left it. We have since seen each other on a number of occasions and it occurs to me that her words were so kind and helpful yet I’ve never thanked her for helping me while I was treading water. I must do that the next time I see her.
Is compassion learned or inherent?
I think we arrive in the world with compassion and it’s sister, empathy. Inherent compassion was, in my case, unlearned because it was considered a weakness. It took me a long time to realize that it is strength, possibly the greatest strength we as human beings have.
Do you find it more challenging to be kind to yourself or to others?
Absolutely it’s easier to be kind to others. I am becoming more kind to myself. I’ve managed to turn down the volume on self-recrimination and negative self-talk and it’s been years since I’ve heard my mother or the father of my children ringing in my ears.
DEEPER QUESTIONS
When was a recent time that you forgave someone?
I no longer put myself in situations where forgiveness is a requirement. Forgiveness is a gift I give myself. I’ve forgiven everyone who needs it and in some cases, I simply won’t forget.
What is a small but powerful act of compassion?
Listening. Genuinely listening - not to fix, not to respond, but to absorb the words and feelings of someone with love, kindness, and yes, compassion.
When did you last connect with someone who has different political, spiritual, or cultural views than you?
Every time I speak with my father. That can be weekly or bi-monthly depending on his mood. And the articles! We receive at least two each week from the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, National Post or Globe and Mail each includes commentary with which I generally disagree.
Which matters more: intentions or actions?
Actions. I completely believe the adage that the road to hell is paved with good intentions. It is actions that show you who a person is - I’m making every effort to align my thoughts, words and actions in every aspect of my life. I believe you have to set an intention but it doesn’t count if action doesn’t follow up, you have to work toward it.
What about you? How do you want 2022 to show up, and how will you show up for yourself?