BESTSELF™ ICEBREAKER | Courage 18
WHAT BIG DECISION IN YOUR LIFE FELT SCARY AT THE TIME, BUT LOOKING BACK WAS THE BEST DECISION YOU COULD HAVE MADE?
Upon reflection, a number of my big decisions were not decided by me, significantly reducing the options!
I suppose the scariest decision of my life was my divorce. That decision I own 100%. We were flat broke - indeed, he left me countless thousands of dollars in debt with a credit rating close to 3. Yep. It was that bad. Everything had been done in my name. It was a disaster. I was finally out of my thyroid disease-induced haze and took charge of my life.
Since then, I’ve raised four kids who were 16, 15, 13 and 12 when the divorce was final—challenging ages, even with two participating parents. When he left, he left everyone. I never said a bad word against him; I didn’t have to, as his actions said far more than I ever could. That plus he was so intensely and universally disliked everyone else had something to say to all of the kids, appropriate or not.
I became a certified life coach. I needed all the help I could get to raise the kids with no road map and wanted to avoid as many mistakes as possible. No doubt I made plenty, but I’d like to think I made less with the training. I also got past the 3rd level of becoming a realtor but realized I don’t like people enough to coddle them and for most buying and selling property is highly emotional. I took a metaphysical journey and am certified in several modalities, including oracle card reading, energy clearing, and sound reiki.
We moved to the obligatory townhouse, which, in retrospect, was the perfect transition home for us - not too big for any one of us to run off to our corner to be alone. We then moved onto one of the only two streets I wanted; I thought it would take two years to find a property, but it took two weeks. It was meant to be. It was a lovely home and the longest I’d ever been in one house in my whole life. Bill and I loved it there and I never thought I’d leave. When Bill died, I was a mess. I decided to move to Southampton, and (knock wood) after a string of good choices; it is the best decision I’ve ever made. Quiet when I need it to be quiet, full when I need activity. I wake up and go to sleep to the best views!
My life is ideal. Though the nest is well and truly empty, and I’m alone, I’m rarely lonely. My kids call multiple times a week via FaceTime or regular calls; they are not much for texting. They do send meme’s via Instagram. I get regular visits where they bring up things (usually baked goods, meat, or “ethnic foods”) and then hang out for a few days. I’m thrilled to know that it’s not just to see the dogs though they provide a good excuse! I’m endlessly curious with a couple of rooms filled with books, a crazy number of projects, from writing a novel to making a family recipe book complete with photos to crafting gemstone jewellery. Therapy keeps me sane, my RMT, chiropractor, and acupuncturist keep me moving, and the local restaurants keep me fed.
Yep, the divorce was my life's scariest decision, which became the catalyst for all of the good things.