BESTSELF™ ICEBREAKER | Beliefs 14
WHERE ARE YOUR BELIEFS LIMITING YOUR POTENTIAL?
[This may be redundant for those who read my post yesterday! I promise, there’s more good stuff here.]
For the longest time, I believed that there was no way for me to lose weight.
For over a decade I’ve weighed exactly the same - not even a fraction of an ounce difference at my once annual weigh in. I’m putting that in the past tense as I think I’ve recently come to the conclusion that it’s not what I eat, how much I move, or lack of sleep, contributing to my situation. (Honestly, I’ve given every supplement, food (cheese, eggs) and drink (wine, coffee) hiatus, eating and exercise program, a solid six months of 100% effort to no effect.)
My body is not laughing at what I call my “armour”. It’s literally holding onto my weight to protect me. Every traumatic event of my life has morphed itself into a pound or two or ten. It is concentrated around my middle - my solar plexus. If you understand chakras, that is the source of personal power and relates to self-esteem, warrior energy, and the power of transformation
Many of our past traumas become stored in the body and affect our thought patterns (limiting beliefs) and behaviours. This particularly affects those of us who experienced a strict upbringing, bullying, or authoritarian parents, or those who have suffered mental or physical abuse. We as a group tend to have difficulty balancing the third chakra. Therapy, support from loved ones, and other healthy activities can help begin the path to healing from the past and restoring balance to the solar plexus chakra.
When Bill was with me, once we established our relationship and solidified our expectations for the future, I lost 27 pounds with zero effort, not even realizing it until my clothes became baggy. I attributed that to the fact that for the first time in my life I felt completely safe, secure and thoroughly loved. Imagine finding that for the first time at 56!
Now that I’ve processed and come to terms with his passing, and knowing he will never come back to me in physical form, I need to find a new way to feel a similar sense of calm belonging. I believe it is the key to shedding my armour. I find myself in a place in my life where I’m happy except for my weight as it limits me.
I recently hired a therapist to help me work through all of my past trauma. It promises to be brutally hard and emotionally charged work as there is a lot to cover. I’ve been assured that she has the compassion, experience and bandwidth to hold space and help me. It will be worth it regardless of whether or not it affects my weight at all. We’ve had a couple of sessions and I’m looking forward to the process of healing with terror and hope. I’ve been through therapy before but this is different. I will be integrating my trauma rather than working through it. The way I have it in my head, each pound represents a story, a character that wounded me, a nasty little gremlin trying to steal my joy. I’m so grateful for having done so much work on myself, I feel like I have a head start with how to cope, and plenty of magical tools in my toolbelt.
I’ll continue to eat well, move more, rest when tired, and live in gratitude for the life I’m living, in support of this additional effort to live the life I want.