For the last 24 years, my children provided me with my purpose, my raison d’être. I am thrilled that I have helped them become equipped well enough to be independent – and not leave me a nervous wreck. What now? Beyond leaving behind four incredible, contributing, critical thinking adults, what more is there?
I’ve recently turned my attention to the idea of my legacy – what do I want to leave behind? how do I want to be remembered? who am I now that my full-time job has become a thing of the past?
I only just turned 55 – there’s a lot of life left in this old girl, and I want to get on with it. I spent a lot of my life wondering “what is my purpose?” and “who do I want to be when I grow up?”
Now the question is “what do I want to leave behind?”
I want to leave behind a life in which I explored the length and breadth of it all. One where I didn’t let fear win. I might never become spontaneous; but, I do want to be more adventuresome. I want to travel at least 3-months out of every year, if not 6-months or more. I want to walk toward those things that scare me.
I want to leave behind a novel, or ten. I’ve recently released myself from the obligation of publication. I want to tell stories. Long stories, short stories, essays, children’s books, so much! What becomes of them will happen how it happens. No more internal or external pressure!
I want to leave behind no possibility left unexplored. No course not taken. No conversation not had. No concert (small venues only please) not enjoyed. No book (fiction or non – left unread). No trip not taken or retreat not enjoyed. No inspirational speaker unheard. No crafty or creative endeavour ignored. No show – theatre, movie or television – not seen. No opportunity left unexplored. I want nothing I am interested in experiencing left on the table.
I want to leave behind a home that reflects everything about me from the ceilings to the floors; inside and out. A balance between industrial, rustic and comfortable; fun and practical. Walls saturated in colour and covered in beautiful photographs (mostly mine), stunning traditional and modern artwork as well as canvases and prints holding words that mean something to me. Comfortable couches and chairs that are cushy yet easy to get out of – with plenty of soft cashmere and silk blankets and feather filled throw pillows. Shapely lamps and rooms with dimmer switches and ceiling fans and plush area rugs over rich hardwood. Cupboards with games, shelves overflowing with books, plenty of journals and colourful markers. Gardens that welcome relaxation, overflowing flowering containers, inviting seating areas and a firepit with endless wood and marshmallows.
I want to leave behind a kick-ass wardrobe that fits well and makes me look my best. Complete it with fabulous jewellery (some I made myself) that has just the right amount of bling, chunky cashmere and silk sweaters, comfortable and stylish footwear (often an oxymoron), fancy yet practical designer-optional bags, statement making glasses, and oversized wraps for every occasion.
I want to leave behind a collection of full and complete albums that show and tell all of our stories. Scrapbooking – both the paper and glue kind and the more recent digitally printed – has been a solace for me when life became insane and I needed to dive into something that took me away but also kept me grounded. It truly saved my life at a time I didn’t know I needed saving.
I want to leave behind a group of people who were helped in some positive way by my coaching, by my Desire Map workshops, by my words on my blog, by my volunteering in the community, by my Sound Reiki® clearing, by my oracle card readings, by my happy photography and shop offerings.
What do you want to leave behind?