In the month since my partner passed, it’s been a challenge to navigate his loss. I’ve likened my grief to bobbing in dark, sticky, molasses – not going forward, not going backward, just bobbing with the occasional tidal wave of more dark, sticky, gunk that threatens to overwhelm me.
My coping mechanism for dealing with any stress or anxiety throughout my life has always been making a plan: using my calendar and writing a list. This tool has eluded me the past weeks as I have allowed myself to feel all of the gratitude, sadness, love, and joy, found in the heartbreaking reality of Bill’s death.
I don’t know what goal-setting or planning will look like for the rest of 2020 or even 2021. I don’t know how to plan during a pandemic or while experiencing earth-shattering grief mixed with pure love. For me, it has to come in the form of a list – long, or short. A list of small good things* is where I feel I have to start.
ONE | Keep showing up.
TWO | Attend reformer pilates at least twice if not three times each week.
THREE | Pull an Oracle card and journal about it every morning.
FOUR | Make my bed.
FIVE | Meditate, 20 minutes in the morning, and another 20 minutes at night.
SIX | Make Bill’s favourite seafood chowder using his mum’s recipe.
SEVEN | Take the dogs out for a walk once a day.
EIGHT | Craft an outline toward the NYT submission.
NINE | Sort through and donate his books and clothes.
TEN | Get the tattoo.
This short list of small good things should keep me going for a while. It certainly felt good to get tangible accomplishable tasks written down. Now to execute – and remember to be gentle with me through the process.
What are some small good things you can do to feel accomplished during these strange times?