It all starts with desire.
The answer to “what do you want?” Now, sometimes what you want you can’t have, but you can’t even start the process if you don’t know what you want in the first place. To me, desire is more of a want than a need, but it can answer both.
In no particular order as depending on the time of day one of my list of desires will move to the top and another to the bottom of importance.
I DESIRE | to flow, with no expectation, into every moment – embrace the NOW, not the past or future. To live the now to its fullest. No more waiting. No more delay. No more reward for denial.
I DESIRE | to rediscover the wonder, the beauty, the freedom of my body in all its power, its emotion and its sensual connection to my being. I want to appreciate my body for all of the beauty it has given me and continues to give me rather than rage against how it has betrayed me with weakness and disease.
I DESIRE | to attract people who are authentic, smart, compassionate, funny, open and patient.
I DESIRE | to own my body and mind with no more judgment or apology or explanation.
I DESIRE | to feel healthy and whole regardless of my weight. I want to be on the right combination of meds that keep me healthy; on the exercise program that will make me strong and flexible; get the hours of quality sleep I need each night; keep super hydrated and make good food choices; and maintain the daily meditation practice that helps me feel content and present.
I DESIRE | to trust my instincts and follow them even if my head disagrees. And it will.
I DESIRE | to make choices in alignment with my five core desired feelings. What are they? Expansive. Trust. Allow. Grace. Connect. How do I want to feel? I have to remember all of the hard work that lead me to the answer to that question and honour those feelings every day.
I DESIRE | my home to be my sanctuary with no compromises.
I DESIRE | the time, the energy, the imagination, the determination and the stamina to write and publish my first book. And then another. And another.
I DESIRE | a wardrobe that fits well and reflects who I am in colour, fabric, function and flow.
I DESIRE | a clean home. All chores done: dishes washed and put away; laundry washed, dried, folded and put away; everything organized and put in its place – in every room.
I DESIRE | to maintain a great relationship with my family. My father, my sisters, their families and each of my kids – as individuals and the collective. It was a lot of hard work to get to this point, I want it to only improve from here.
I DESIRE | to complete all of the projects that still resonate within me.
I DESIRE | that our society which complains about bullies, promiscuity, disconnection, misogyny, prejudice, hunger, intolerance, hypocrisy, inequality, and all manner of awful things stop talking in circles, stop being so politically correct while not being objective or correct, stop fighting, take a stand and FIX IT. I am doing my part in my little family of me and four teenagers but I’m tired of often having to say “that’s just the way it is” and advising on how best to manage the unacceptable.
I DESIRE | a vehicle that is sexy, practical and powerful.
I DESIRE | the garden of my dreams that includes: a labyrinth; a fountain; a koi pond; a perennial garden and bright red Muskoka chairs. Peonies, lillies, periwinkle, hostas, Japanese maples, dogwoods, ivy, goutweed, and a regular service to keep it all looking great!
I DESIRE | travel to places I feel safe but still stimulates my interest in the culture, the surroundings, the people, the architecture, all of it. I want to go places that sets my camera and imagination on fire.
I DESIRE | light. The ability to be less serious and embrace the funny more.
I DESIRE | love. A great love. My first and my last.
I DESIRE | to embody grace and compassion and elegance and patience, daily.
Do I want more? Perhaps. Though, for me this list is exhaustive!
What about you? What do YOU desire? What is YOUR bright reality?