Winter has arrived with blustery winds and so much snow – which melted quickly, thank goodness.
Autumn was filled with all kinds of good crazy: Caden continues his studies at the University of Toronto and will start his first “real” job as a busboy in January; Chloé has settled into a routine in Edinburgh where navigating her education has proven a challenge that will serve her well; Cole continues in his administrative capacity at the UTSU and enjoys his studies as he finishes his graduating year; Claire is in Halifax putting her Hospitality and Tourism certification to work, though I suspect that even though she is completely engaged in dodgeball and work, we’ll see her home sooner rather than later.
For those following along, my highlights included an unpredicted dropping of things that were once important to me; an unexpected change in employment opportunity; and, an unanticipated change in relationship status. There was a lot of travel – from one end of the country to the other – within a couple of weeks, I saw both the Pacific Ocean and then the Atlantic. Life is (so very) good. I bought a condo in Toronto as an investment – and the kids can live there until they can’t. It’s been a full autumn.
Keeping up the momentum of 2018, 2019 had me focused on “how does it get any better than this?” in the first half and now I’m thinking “dare for more”. And then it kicked me in the ass. Wow. I’ve spent much of this past year farther outside of my natural comfort zone than ever before. I did my best to honour my guiding word for the year, which was SLOW and I think I made a good effort yielding positive results. I haven’t yet decided on my word to welcome the new decade, I’m leaning toward clean, simplify, minimal, less, something along those lines. That will be in combination with my Core Desired Feelings: Agency, Flow, Luminous, Magical and Surrender. Keeping that in mind, this is what’s coming up for me this winter:
- Gall bladder removal. Rescheduled from September 12 to October 2 to January 22 – so annoying. For the last couple of years, I have been suffering a gall bladder that is full of stones. It is at times excruciatingly painful and at others simply gross. I have been assured that the procedure will not be debilitating but I won’t be lifting anything heavy for a while. The end result can’t be predicted outside the hope that I will no longer suffer bouts of pain at 2 AM.
- Reformer Pilates. Jackie has been my personal trainer for years and I was thrilled for her when she opened her new studio. I was equally devastated as I enjoy our training sessions in my home. Now, I’ve scheduled 3x weekly sessions with her in her studio filled with brand new reformer machines. My goodness how it hurts, but in such a good and positive way. I’m remembering muscles that haven’t been used in a very long time. It’s so good. I’ve learned to not give a damn about the weight, but I do care about my strength and flexibility. This is working.
- Mastermind. I’ve been a member of this group for 2 sessions now and I plan to join for a third after our final gathering in Sanibel Island, Florida in January. The program is a safe container populated with loving and generous people who get me and I get them. I love the process and everything I’m learning year to year.
- Partnering. This has proven to be a tremendous personal challenge. I’ve been independent so long (strong, independent woman who don’t need no man) I’m accustomed to doing things my way without any form of consultation. I steamroll forward without regard to anyone but me (and my kids). Going forward, I need to be more mindful and considerate of him, how he shows up in the world as well as his relationship with his own adult children. I am beyond blessed that he is kind, patient and lovely to both me and my kids.
- Seanchai Media Group. Has been a dream for a long time, not my dream, but to assist in its facilitation is an honour and joy. I’m happy to help in any capacity. No, the name is not as simple as it looks – it’s pronounced SHAWN-A-KEY which means storyteller in Gaelic. I hope this venture is successful enough that everyone will know how to pronounce it! (It’s okay, it hangs me up every time I have to think about/read it.)
- The Novel. Another year, another attempt at finishing the shitty first draft. The ridiculous idea of perfection is killing me. Onward! In order to write it, I am carving out time. What does that mean? Some things I thought were important, that I wanted to do, are being cancelled to make way for me to hole up and write. Prioritizing where I am now with where I was then. Cleaning house.
- Spend less. I don’t have to go everywhere or do everything my magpie mind thinks is curious or interesting. I look at the endless piles in my house and say to myself, “that used to be money”. So much paper! So many books. So much stuff. Ugh. It’s time to strip it all back and be more mindful of my choices.
- Make better choices. Not out of habit but of desire, when I leave my home I’m going to do so only to attend events, appointments and activities that resonate with me in a positive and fulfilling way.
- Natural time. I want to be more mindful of the Sabbats as well as the cycles of the moon. I’ve gotten away from the celebration of the rhythm of time. I need to invite it back into my daily practice.
- Connection. I speak with and text all of my kids multiple times every day. I love how they prefer to talk on the phone and how they initiate contact. I am hoping to have them either come home or for me go to see them on a more regular basis. Though since I have the dogs I suspect the chances are better that they come to me!
- Health concerns. Sigh. These come in all shapes and sizes with all different levels of fear that accompany any diagnosis. There are my concerns, his concerns and our concerns. Time to take whatever control we can and figure out how to make everything manageable. We both want to be around for a good long time for so many reasons.
- Purge and organize. My office, specifically. I need to find a space for everything that matters and toss the rest. Of course, the office is the first focus but not the last! There is a whole plan to get the rest of the house put to order. It’ll take the whole year, but I can see it.
Lots to do – no low-key approach this year! I’ll take it all day-by-day and anticipate that with focus and energy it can all get done.
