Throughout 2015 I found myself saying the same thing over and over: “you can only fix history going forward”. But what if you are so busy going forward that you don’t pause long enough to acknowledge what is happening in your life? The big things, the small things, the seemingly inconsequential things.
For the last year my Reflections have turned into a laundry list of ALL of the big things, the small things, the seemingly inconsequential things that happen in the course of any given month. Going forward I plan to put the events of my month in in some kind of meaningful format so that when I look back through my year, each month is not a random dumping of life events. A change is in order! I am incorporating my monthly events into a mindful reflection of the month in order to better enjoy the months ahead. “Fix” history as it is happening and consciously make a better life for myself and my family.
What emerged over the month?
ME FIRST. With my new perspective here climbing to the top of the list, what do I want my life to mean? What is my highest good? How do I get where I need to be? It all starts with how I am going to spend my time. As Annie Dillard said, “how we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives” is resounding truth. The first week of the month, I mapped out my year with calendars, a quad pad and coloured pens. I outlined the courses I plan to take; I put together the blog ideas and content for 2016; I determined my creative endeavours; decided on the travel and retreats I’d like to participate in; and, mapped out my Get to Work Book to get me where I want to go. The rest of the month was spent taking care of myself and executing my plans. In keeping with my new found clarity of purpose, I made the decision to not renew my license as a Desire Map facilitator for a myriad of reasons but the most important one was the whole “sell” component and the ick factor that comes with it. I’m discovering who I want to be: my foundations and boundaries. Yes, the Universe sent a test, a pretty tempting one, and I passed. Not only passed, but did so with flying colours! Me first, indeed 🙂
What were the big and small victories?
Household help arrived in the form of Pat and her team. Amazing! | I enjoyed my Manifest What’s Next IV party! So much fun to have Helen read oracle cards and Bettina teach the Enneagram to my fabulous group of girlfriends. | I did not duck out of the Upper School Cabaret and enjoyed Caden in his dance routine – for a gangly man-boy he is pretty graceful. | Chloé performed with The Other Guys (as a member of the school choir) and is seriously considering going to Scotland for university (I live in hope!). | Claire came for a mid-month visit and Cole did the same a week later. I love that my kids want to come home. Tucker is a great draw! | On that note, our sweet mutt is figuring it out: fewer accidents, great motivation to go out and walk, uses the bells and chews mostly his toys (and my kitchen wall) but the gates are down and he has free reign of the house – so far so good (knocking wood)! | My juicery closed up and I discovered a new place on Lakeshore. We shall see how it goes. | I completed my One Little Word assignment for the month – I’m going to enjoy LIGHT this year. | I closed my eyes when I hit the “buy” button and my HermanMiller Embody chair arrived. It is wonderful. | I finally sent my overdue “thank you” to CZ. | Canyon Ranch is BOOKED. | Conscientious Booksmith retreat is BOOKED. | I have (drum roll) a HANDYMAN and all of my projects are deemed “do-able”. Grateful. | It’s way easier to cancel technical website stuff than to set it all up! | Cole turned 19. How can my kids be 20, 19, 16 and 15? And yet, I can’t remember a moment without them! | I’m actually using my new collection of Bobbi Brown makeup. I am equally surprised!
What were the lessons? Am I getting in my own way?
You cannot go from couch to 10,000 steps each day. You definitely can’t do it when you slip on the ice and fall on your ample backside. My insides felt bruised for a week! Setback, indeed. | Instead of getting all upset with myself over my stupidity, I focused on other things while the healing took it’s own time – and followed it up with catching a cold! | Mercury Rx seemed quite tame while it lasted (5-25 January) so I can’t blame any setbacks on it! There was plenty of time spent reflecting and relaxing. | Caden, who refuses to wear a coat or pants after sweating after squash, has bronchitis and is now on a puffer. Still no sign of a coat or pants. | I am not keeping up with my COURAGEworks course as I keep “losing” it and cannot get into the classroom. I’m sure I’m missing something simple, but it is frustrating every. single. time.
Forgiveness is freedom. I must practice the holding of forgiveness in my heart for everyone who needs it. Including me. Gratitude for everything. The good, the fun, the hard, the frustrating, the love, the joy: especially for the lessons learned through it all.
ENJOYING EVERYDAY LIFE
Great quote: “Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So, love the people who treat you right and forget about the ones who don’t. And believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance – take it; if it changes your life – let it. Nobody said that it would be easy but it would be worth it.” Paulo Coelho
What we watched and enjoyed: After our Vampire Diaries binge over the holidays, I followed up watching Veronica Mars which I have almost finished (3 episodes left) and enjoyed. I’ve also been watching the Australian Open tennis, golf coming in from California and the last two weeks of the football season are the best – we are all looking forward to Super Bowl. We also headed into Toronto to see my niece in her school production of “Pippin” which was fabulous!
Book found in my truck for the inevitable parking lot reading: The Soul Searcher’s Handbook by Emma Mildon has proven to be a fabulous read while waiting for kids. The perfect primer for anyone interested in starting their journey to all things woo. I am well on my way and enjoy having it all in one primer. I also have my copy of Daring Greatly and Rising Strong for my COURAGEworks course with Brené Brown.
Book found on my nightstand: Girl on the Train has sat, unopened, on my nightstand for the last couple of months, or more. Time to open it!
Music that had me moving and singing along: Lake Street Dive Call Off Your Dogs; Tedeschi Trucks Band Anyhow; Nathaniel Rateli & The Night Sweats Look It Here; Oh Wonder Lose It; Elliot Maginot Jepeto; AudioDamn! Radar; and Bleachers Rollercoaster and so much more!
Weather: the eastern seaboard, from DC up through Nova Scotia got walloped. Incredibly, the streets of NYC were used for snowboarding! With the exception of a little snow, a little cold, it’s been mild for the most part around here. Though I’m happy to sacrifice warmth of cloudy days for the blinding sunshine and blue skies when the temperatures drop.
RIP: Tough month! The world lost the genius of David Bowie, Alan Rickman, Glenn Frey and more.
Unexpected: I recently heard from a former flame who remembers the rebellious, fearless, all-in party girl of 30+ years ago. Not only is it fun to learn I was “the one that got away” but lately I have been receiving regular reminders of my fearless self from those who knew me well a long time ago. It’s time to reacquaint myself with that girl – she sounds spectacular!
Discovery: The Boss is fabulous, but not worth $1,000 per ticket! John Scott is a hockey playing rock star hero; the blackboard experiment was powerful; Peter Gabriel and Sting are coming for a concert in June and we got tickets; the idea of “buy me once” purchases is so appealing; cue horns and confetti settling is no longer an option and I will live my truth every day, you can live it with me – or not; a $0.70 dollar really makes a difference in purchase patterns; there is a lot of white and gray coming in, time (again) to see what’s under the colour. I’ve never been much of a bird watcher but this month they’ve been unavoidable! Flocks of robin in my trees out front, squawking Canada Geese, tiny yellow birds gather and swing on the tree branches, gorgeous bright red cardinals watch me watch them out my office window and my woodpecker is back. Has it always been like this?
How was your start to the year? How are you changing history going forward?