29 FEBRUARY 2016
What emerged over the month?
The overall theme was LET GO, with some compassion and acceptance, too. With that there were a few things:
My moral compass is firmly intact. I am a sensual being with a rich history of fulfilling that aspect of my personality. I’ve been exemplary in my behaviour before, during and after my divorce. It’s time to reacquaint myself with that missing part of myself. The full moon in Virgo on the 22nd reinforced the cleansing. Beautiful.
What were the big and small victories?
I said “no” when it could have been exquisitely easy to say “yes”. | I celebrated Imbolc. | I gave in to spontaneity and joined my sister at her son’s “away” basketball game in Hamilton. | The Firestarter Sessions were not just listened to but the worksheets completed! | I got out to the meet & greet at Kathy’s place and survived. | Shelves were ordered and delivered from IKEA, then put together right away! | Bank meeting was done and survived! Even though I know what I know I still fear I come across as a dumblefuck. | All last-minute wardrobe issues purchased and both Caden (with new sneakers and board shorts) and Chloé (with new black shorts) made it to Florida and Cuba, respectively. | I had coffee with a spectacular woman who, though much younger than me, can teach me many things. | Chloé finally agreed to take a course overseas this summer. | Claire got in touch with an artist, who created the Bear canvas I purchased for her, to obtain permission to have it as a tattoo. She got the okay! Tattoo next month. | Good news: clean bill of health from the Hematologist. | Tucker can now go out in the backyard and LOVES it. So much to sniff! No leash! Squirrels! | Chloé has (finally) been convinced to take World History overseas with Blyth in July. | With much help, my studio is coming together. | My “embrace the gray” project is on track – this will be a long painful process. | Caden enjoyed his time winter camping in Temagami and now has plans to be a JOL (Junior Outdoor Leader) next year. #wondersnevercease | Cole submitted his residence registration form and deposit for next year – next year! #blink | The extra day was honoured with a “time capsule” to be opened on Leap Day 2020.
What were the lessons?
Easy is not always right. | Having a holiday in the middle of a 12-week get-your-shit-together session may not be the wisest idea – but the holiday was planned first! | No tickets for the NBA All Star Game, rolling with it. | One debit card (mine) left at home while we were on holiday resulting in an interesting challenge once I got over the panic. | One misplaced wallet (not mine) made for some chaos as Cole headed back to school – he came back into Oakville to collect it mid-week. | Chloé was crushed that no one was able to see her in the all school musical – her words – my new name is No One. | Wet dog requires copious amounts of Ventolin. | Upon return from holiday, I was covered in itchy welts – so much I was chewing Benadryl like candy. | A rough start to my new program with Rita and Kathy. I have to figure out how to make it work for me. #iamdetermined | Bad news: I will be on blood thinners for the rest of my life.
Oracle and Tarot cards hold a place in my life. I knew plenty and still joined Susannah Conway‘s Daily Guidance course. Not only did I learn more, I met many people who resonate with these incredible decks. I will be pulling my three cards every morning. Right now I’m using the Wisdom of the Oracle deck which is visually stunning as well as resonant in every aspect of my life.
ENJOYING EVERYDAY LIFE
Great quote: “The mundane details of our life eat us up. Therefore it is important to keep asking ourselves again and again: What is the most important thing? Since death is certain and the time of death is uncertain; what is the most important thing? Let that perspective be your guide.” Pema Chödrön
What we watched and enjoyed: Rarely do I watch Grey’s Anatomy, stopping sometime in 2008 or 09. I’ve seen a few recent episodes and they make me cry, sob, every time. | Another blast from the past is the final season of American Idol. I haven’t seen it since David Cook won in season 7. It’s been fabulous so far! Kelly Clarkson? Amazing woman, not just a talented singer. | Looks like I stopped watching many things in 2008. Hmm. | Fuller House? Chloé knocked it out in a morning. Me? Unimpressed with the immature slamming of the Olsen twins – both of whom no longer act, or need to. | Oscars? Just the red carpet and Chris Rock’s opening monologue was the plan, but Chris Rock was just too outrageous, I had to watch it all.
Book found in my truck for the inevitable parking lot reading: Carry On Warrior by Glennon Doyle Melton and Tarot 101 by Kim Huggens is a great companion to the course taken this month and Creativity, Inc. by Ed Catmull because I love all things Pixar.
Book found on my nightstand: LOTS because I have my Kindle there right now. I try to read all of my fiction on it as I’m running out of bookshelves! Right now I’m just finished reading The Witches of Cambridge by Menna Van Praag – good stuff, but not her best. I really tried reading Girl On A Train and couldn’t get past the first 100 pages, same with Purity by Jonathan Franzen, meh.
Weather: Mid-month brought a brutal cold snap (-25C), just as Chloé and Caden were in Cuba and Florida, respectively. It gave me a greater appreciation for the heat when Claire, Cole and I landed in Turks & Caicos. Back home we got a bit of a break and then weather warnings came in like crazy, notices from the school reminding us all of school closure procedure. No closure, but that was one hell of an icky storm! Looks like March is going to come in like a lion.
RIP: Harper Lee, an American treasure and inspiration. She said once: “The book to read is not the one that thinks for you but the one which makes you think.” To Kill a Mockingbird and Go Set a Watchman both made me think, for that I am grateful.
Unexpected: One quiet Saturday morning I spent 3+ hours on Facebook chat enjoying a continued conversation from the night before with one of my forever friends. Even though he cannot answer a direct question, I still enjoyed every minute of our time together. So much so, my face hurt at the end from smiling so much. It’s nice to know we’ve lived similar lives and have come to this point particularly grateful for the hardships. I do hope for better years – ease and love – ahead, for both of us!
Discovery: Compression socks are VERY HARD to put on! | Authentic Indian food and I do not get along – I prefer my Canadianized butter chicken! Loved the lunch company, though. | Most of the spectacular Tarot Decks are not available through mainstream retailers like Amazon, they are sold in wonderful boutique Etsy and other online shops. | My newest favourite magazine, Happinez, is now available by subscription and I just received my first copy (with a big LET IT GO on the front cover!) I’ll take it as a sign from the universe that I’m on the right path. | According to the doctors, there was nothing I could do to prevent the blood clot. I was amazed at the amount of guilt released when the doctor told me not to blame myself. Happy tears!
Exhale: 3/4 of my children have not seen or spoken with their father in well over 4 years (though he does choose to stay in sporadic contact with one.) Through her we got word he is moving. The charade of staying in town to “be close to the kids” has finally come to an end. The response has been a collective exhale. Not that where he lives has ever been top of mind for any of us, it’s nice to know there will be no random encounters. One big LET GO for the month!
Online Courses: COURAGEworks Living Brave with Brené Brown; Fierce Grace Collective with Carrie Anne Moss; The Firestarter Sessions with Danielle LaPorte; Light Language with Lynn Louise Wonders; Daily Guidance with Susannah Conway quickly followed by The Sacred Alone which starts today! One Little Word with Ali Edwards; and, FIT2016 with Cathy Zielske. My plan for 2016 was to cut back, but I can’t – there is too much good stuff!
How was your February? How are you changing history going forward?